Am I resisting Happiness?

On my personal Facebook profile awhile back, I posed the following question:

If fear & failure weren’t an issue, what would you do/pursue/invest in that you’re currently not? Just curious. Let’s dream a bit.

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I received several amazing answers like “creating resources for at-risk youth”, “teaching baking”,”being a stunt woman”, “being a politician”, “starting a restaurant”, “being a mortician”, “starting an apple orchard/cidery”, etc.

Fantastic, very eclectic responses! Got some big dreamers out there!

So, this was *my* response:

Me? I’d get serious about writing. Instead of dreaming (cluttering my head) and having thousands of half-written documents (cluttering my filing cabinet & computer & flat surfaces) I’d put myself out there and blog, write (for myself and other writers/bloggers), get articles and books published, etc. Every time I think about getting consistent with my blog I keep thinking things like “someone’s already said this before… probably better” or “what if this offends someone?” or “can I deal with potential ridicule or critique?” etc. Or the infamous “you can’t make money blogging… besides, who’d read your stuff anyway?” ugh

A friend of mine commented on this thought and said,

I once heard someone say that instead of self doubt they would think “why not me? If they can do it – why not me?”. Why not you? You don’t have to be the first to say it – if you say it well, someone out there hasn’t heard it! If that wasn’t true pastors and teachers would be out of a job 

Her words struck a chord.

Why NOT me?…

So what if someone’s said something similar to what I’m saying? I will word things differently. And I will reach a different audience.

And how often do we hear the same thing over and over, but it’s the repetition that finally makes it stick for someone?

Or someone words it JUST the way we needed to read it/hear it at that moment… it spoke to us in a language or tone that really jives with us.

And maybe it’s not even about being repetitious. Maybe it’s just, “hey, that person lives a very different lifestyle. They do things very differently.” Maybe that different perspective and view would be helpful, insightful, or encouraging to someone else.

Anyways, no longer am I going to let fear dictate my actions. Even if I’m not the best or most eloquent writer… that’s OK. I know with my words that I have stuff to contribute to society.

So what about you? Is there anything that you’re hesitant to do or start? Are you stopped in your tracks with self-doubt? Do you hear voices that say “I’m not good enough”… “would people even be interested in what I could contribute?”… “other people are already doing this/what I have to give isn’t anything new”… “would I even get followers/viewers?”… “I could never ______”… “who am I to do _______?”… “what I want to be and do is so big but I’m so small/I’m just a _______”…

Stop it! Just stop listening to those voices! Don’t give them anymore space in your brain!

What you think eventually becomes action (or inaction). Scripture says multiple times to guard your mind and heart and to only think on things that are lovely, excellent, praiseworthy, and right. We now have the science to understand that our thoughts can actually change our brains, cells, and genes. The brain/body connection is something I’ve been getting into lately and it’s an absolutely fascinating read! We’ve only begun to scratch the surface on how powerful the human brain is. But God knows because He created it. And He knows that what we think is ridiculously powerful– so guard it. What we think dictates what we do. Think right–> do right.

Let’s start taking charge of our thinking right now, today! Believe that God wants us to live fearlessly and fully for Him. He imparts upon us dreams and drives and passions. Certain things will energize us. Each of us has a unique take. A special creative spark is ours and ours alone and God desperately wants you to share it with the world. He made you for a plan and a purpose. Don’t miss out on it because of fear. Tell fear where to stuff it.

Do something today, even if it’s ever so small, to step out in faith and begin pursuing your passions and desires. God gave them to you for a reason. They’re yours alone. Let’s be faithful and use our gifts and talents for the Lord. He’s rooting for us.

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Live fully alive! Live awakened.

 

#livefullyalive   #fullyalive   #liveawakened   #stepintoyourfreedom   #useyourGodgivenpassion    #thinkright   #thinkpositively   #stepoutinfaith   #bebold   #befearless   #whyNOTyou

 

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Chocolate

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I love this quote.

But upon further thinking… I realized something: with as awesome as chocolate is, there are still people out there that *don’t* like it. How? I have absolutely no idea. But they do exist.

So, if not everyone likes chocolate, or are at least “meh” about it, then you can be *guaranteed* that there will be people out there that don’t like you or are at least “meh” about your existence (for absolutely no understandable reason).

And that’s OK.

We were not placed on this earth to please people! We will die inside trying. We will fail in our attempts. We will miss out on the full and abundant life that God has for us on this planet. We will lose so much of our time and energy with this useless/impossible/futile pursuit. We will waste our potential. We will not be truly benefiting society with our skills and talents and abilities.

We will not be true to who we really are…
We will lose ourselves…
We’ll only be left feeling frustration, anger, resentment, and disillusionment…

Just be the *flavor* you are! Not everyone will like it. But some will. Many will, actually. Be who you were created to be. Focus on pleasing *God* instead. Pursue your dreams and passions. Do your thing. BE YOU.

Live awakened.  Live fully alive.

These are a few on my favorite things!

1- Game nights with friends!

We’re always looking for fun & simple games we can 1) play with the kids or 2) doesn’t require a whole lot of thinking so we can freely talk and joke and hang with our company. There’s most definitely a time and a place for strategy/thinking games. But oftentimes a light/fun/quick game is just the thing.

Here are a couple of our favorites: Zombie Dice and Pass the Pig.

 

 

 

2. The local ice cream shop opening near us. A sure sign of Spring!

This, my friends, is a Puppy Chow Hurricane. It’s frozen awesomeness in a cup!

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3. My latest Goodwill find. Love those 50% off Saturdays!

I have a slight obsession with pretty dishes, specifically ones with gold on them. We’ve slowly been adding mismatched China plates from Goodwill to our cupboard. It’s just so fun to eat off pretty plates, isn’t it? (As opposed to the “boring” nondescript off-white Corelle we have.) My hubby insists on using the boring plates. I insist on using fun plates. We compromise and have both in our cupboards. LOL 🙂

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4. Also found this at Goodwill today.

I’ve been slacking on my French studies. (Eeeeek.) Seeing this in the book section today rekindled that passion I have for language learning. Bought it. And hello again DuoLingo.

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5. Daily dose of TRUTH.

“Be better today than you were yesterday” has become my mantra. It’s not about comparing yourself to other people. It’s about comparing yourself to who you were yesterday, and striving to be better. It’s not about perfection. It’s about process. There is no end goal or date in mind. It’s a lifestyle.

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An unconventional coping mechanism

How do you handle: Loss? Pain? Discomfort? Anxiety? Grief? Fear?

Or just an ordinary day that goes from bad to worse?

I am probably going to sound totally off my rocker when I share my thoughts here in a bit. And there’ll probably be several nay-sayers in the crowd. And I must say this “coping mechanism” must definitely be handled with great care. But… then again, what I have to say could be the very thing someone really needs to hear.

So back to the question above. How do you handle stress?

Journaling? Yoga? Meditation? Reading Scripture? Prayer? Working on a hobby? Music? Video games? Essential oils?

Several articles I’ve read suggested common ideas like: limit caffeine, get involved in physical activity/exercise, get more sleep, try relaxation techniques, talk to someone, keep a stress diary, manage your time, learn to say “no”, etc.

These really are fantastic ideas. Probably lifestyle habits we should regularly be investing our time and energy in with or without stress/anxiety/pain. They truly lead to a balanced, happy life.

But may I suggest a little something else that may be just the trick to quickly soothe your frayed nerves and wrecked mind?

This coping mechanism has been SO shamed in the media and by our culture. And it’s really sad that this is so.

Want to know what I think is an excellent and almost immediate calmer of the mind and body? Something you easily have in your home right now this minute? Something most everyone can afford?

I warn you. With this strategy, there is most definitely room for abuse/taking it too far. It needs to be approached with great caution. More on that in a bit.

So what’s a simple, quick way to feel better?

Food.

Ok, here comes gasps and boos and what-have-you.

But I stand by it. I truly think God gave us food to help take the edge off crazed/hurt emotions and mental distress.

When you’re hurt, angry, and overwhelmed, doesn’t it make you feel better to eat a piece of hot, freshly baked bread with a pat of melty butter? Mac-n-cheese? How about a hearty bowl of soup? A bowl of ice cream? Cookies? Donuts? Chocolate?

BUT, quantity is everything here.

1 slice of baked hot bread with butter. Not a whole loaf/stick of butter.
1 bowl of mac-n-cheese. Not the entire pot.
1 bowl of soup. Not the whole pot.
1 dessert bowl of ice cream. Not the entire pint.
1-2 cookies/1 donut. Not a baker’s dozen.
1-2 pieces of chocolate. Not the entire bar.
Moderation is key here! Absolutely key!

Only take a small amount to take the edge off. Go slowly. Savor. Focus on the taste and feel of what you are eating. Experience the nuances of flavor.

They call it comfort food for a reason!

And it’s OK. I’m telling you– it’s ok.

For so long, we’ve been told that using food for comfort is bad, wrong, going to make us fat, etc. Then, when people do turn to food (because it works almost immediately), they instantly feel guilty. Which just adds more fuel to the inner turmoil they’re experiencing.

I’m telling you– it’s false guilt to feel bad about turning to food for a bit of comfort! It’s not real. Shake it off and let it go.

Food is ok! It’s not sinful!

Most can agree with me that after a stressful event/season, a comfort food taken in moderation and savored slowly gives the mind, body, emotions, and soul a “sigh”… a breather… a must needed break and calm. It literally “takes the edge off”. And it does so pretty darn fast.

It allows the body to relax for a moment so that you can think clearly and plan and figure things out, or rest/sleep. It gives you the “ahhhh” needed to make good and right decisions. And it pairs beautifully with the many other coping mechanisms mentioned earlier in this article. No one single strategy is going to be the fix-all. Food alone isn’t going to “fix” the problem. It’s going to have to be done alongside other strategies.

But I want you readers to know that using food is a-ok to take the edge off your hurt. Just use moderation and care. Shake off that unnecessary guilt you may be experiencing. Add to your plate other calming techniques, too.

And remember this: say you *want* to over-do it in the comfort food department because you are REALLY upset about something. Know this: if you decide to binge, you are only punishing yourself and your body. And the problem or stressor hasn’t been solved. It’s still there. And now, the guilt you are feeling IS real. You overdid it. You lost self-control. You abused your body. You are making your body suffer unnecessarily. Even if someone did something horrible to you, and you are SUPER upset– a binge is a punishment on you alone, and not on the other person. This may seem harsh to hear, but it must be said. It’s never ok to overeat or to drown your sorrows with food. It doesn’t make you feel better. It doesn’t clear up the mind. It doesn’t calm the nerves. It hurts you. It makes things worse. The original problem has now been compounded even further. It can also set some people up for a future food addiction if they repeatedly do this to themselves.

So please, when I say “try comfort food to calm down”, I am NOT advocating over-indulgence at all.

Moderation.is.key.

So enjoy that cookie. Enjoy that piece of cake. Enjoy that bowl of mac-n-cheese. Go on and take the edge off. While you’re at it, try some yoga or journaling, too. Take a nap. Go for a walk. Do whatever it is that makes you feel good. And don’t wear that unnecessary guilt associated with using food for comfort. It’s ok.

Hope that helps. Hope you can now try releasing that white-knuckled grip you may be hanging onto that “food for comfort is bad”. It’s not. It’s good. Enjoy it. Feel a little better. Let go of false guilt.


There’s some “food for thought” for ya. 😉

Blessings to you!

~Momma Duck

Reflections upon today

 

1. Find joy in the journey… TRUTH.

Sometimes I find myself so focused on goals and aspirations that I forget to enjoy the actual journey getting to that end. But if we would just take a moment to slow down, walk (not run), savor the “now”, breath in deep the ordinary… there’s so much to see and experience. There’s so much life right here, right now. Let’s not miss it!

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2. Buying decorations for St. Patrick’s Day today.

I’m a sucker for holiday window clings. They’re just so fun! I have them for each of the holidays. They just make me smile. 🙂 And holiday decorations in general– they keep the house fun and happy all throughout the year.


3. My oldest daughter today.

She was (is!) just cute as a button. She brought a smile to my face every time I looked at her. A messy, wavy side ponytail… super round, funky gold sunglasses… a cactus t-shirt… Love this sweet sweet child of mine. So confident. So cool. So sure of who she is and what she likes. So full of life and creativity and passion. Lover of fashion and music. She has my heart and always will.

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4. Off to a Lincoln Day dinner with my hubby!

Been going for years. Wouldn’t miss this one. Lovely dinner. Lovely company. Lovely speakers. Yummy food. Always a blessing to attend each and every year. It also makes a lovely date night with my hunny.

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5. Winning prizes this evening at the Lincoln Day dinner!!!

I swear my hubby is my lucky rabbit’s foot! With him, we almost always win prizes and free food wherever we go. It’s a thing we always laugh about because it happens all.the.time. No joke. I was never so lucky until I married him and we make out like bandits anytime there’s a raffle drawing or prize contest. Or even at drive thru’s/restaurants (can’t even recall how many times we get free or discounted food. It’s unreal.) Tonight’s raffle won us (2) bottles of BioFreeze (LOVE this stuff!), a 5 gallon car cleaning bucket full of car wax/upholstery & glass cleaners/etc. (*not shown: 2 ball caps, as two of our sons took off with them as soon as we walked in the door), and a $65 coupon for a local hair salon. Luck + prizes = :-).

 

Had a fantastic day. Hope your’s was, too. Hope you’re learning to find joy and smiles in all of the odds and ends that happen throughout your day.

Until tomorrow…

Thoughts and Meditations (for birth) Part 5 (final)

#5- God will guide the midwife (or medical staff). RD will support and encourage what is best for baby and I.

a. Ex. 14:14~ The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.
b. Rom. 15:13~ May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 

*The Lord is my strength and my shield; He will protect me.
*You direct my thoughts, Lord. You show me the way to birth my child.*Lord, You designed me a woman and You direct the way this labor should go according to Your design.
*I rest in You in the days leading up to our baby’s delivery. I rest during and in between all contractions. I am still in Your presence because I know You fight for me.
*Your plans are holy and perfect. I surrender my hopes and plans and desires to follow Your plan for this birth. You make Your presence known and guide every person facilitating this birth. You are glorified and Your name is revered.
*You fill me with joy and peace as I trust in You and continue to do so during labor. What can man do to me? You sift everything through Your perfect fingers and I trust that You will lead the midwife (or medical team). You do not overlook any detail of this labor and have it all planned perfectly. I surrender to Your plan and am protected by Your Holy Spirit against all enemy attack and distraction.

 

… in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us… Rm. 8:37

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