Get It Out

From as far back as I can remember… I have been a writer. A writer in the sense that I write practically every day (not necessarily that I’ve been published– though #goals). Journals. Word docs. Scraps of loose paper. Writing on the edges of my daily to-do lists. Even when I’m in meetings or seminars, not only do I doodle on my paperwork, but I write.

What do I write about?: observations, reminders, deep thoughts, blog topics, Scriptures that come to mind, mantras, personal pep talks, prayers, day dreams, words of motivation and inspiration, quotes I hear, gift ideas, meal ideas, etc.

For me, it’s absolutely cleansing and clearing. The way my heart and mind work, there is *always* so much going on inside (even though I may appear cool as a cucumber on the outside). So much thinking. So much feeling. Big thoughts. Big feelings.

It’s like my senses are on hyper-alert at all times. I see, hear, observe, smell, experience, and feel things SO incredibly deeply.

Writing allows me time and a platform to process and work through all the things I experience throughout the day. It’s exhausting when your senses are always so aware of what’s going on around you. Writing helps get all that out so I can be chill on the inside, too.

If I don’t write, it all begins to swell up inside like a balloon that’s going to burst. Everything gets muddled and confusing and cloudy. I have all this big stuff bouncing around inside of me and I can’t seem to make heads or tails of anything. It’s overwhelming. It’s maddening.

I HAVE to get it out. Writing keeps me sane and centered and cleared and light.

The more I talk to people the more I see that many other’s have this same thing going on inside, too. There’s this “thing” they have to do, must do. It’s like there’s a freshwater spring of something going on inside of them that has to come out– and it never runs dry. They have to create. If they don’t, they feel like they’re going insane. Getting it out keeps them cleared and happy and free.

Working on computers and tech. Sewing. Performing in theater. Writing. Creating and/or performing music. Painting. Making beers and wines. Farming or gardening. Arts and crafts. Making movies. Interior design. Financial planning. Traveling. Language learning. Preaching. Teaching. Yoga. Sharing the gospel. Cooking.

Because we are all created in the image of God, I believe there’s a creative genius within all of us. There’s something, or multiple somethings, within each of us that is just dying to come out.

Your “thing” coming out may or may not even start with the goal of “helping people”. It may very well simply start with doing it to stay sane!!! But it’s when you take a chance and get your “thing” out there for others to see and experience that the “blessing others” becomes a part of the picture.

So what’s your “thing”? What makes you tick? What do you have to do to keep your energy and mind clear and light? What can you seemingly do or create day-in day-out that’s never exhausted or runs dry? What could you never get bored of doing?

I want to encourage you in the following ways:
1- if you don’t know what your “thing” is– explore, try new things, take a class, experiment. Ask love one’s what they see in you. Ask God for clarity.
2- if you already know what your “thing” is– are you doing it regularly? Are you investing yourself and time in it?
3- if you are regularly doing your “thing”– are you brave enough to put yourself out there, to stop hiding your light under a bushel?

It’s scary sharing your gifts and talents with the world. Many will like what you put out there– it will bless and enrich their lives. But you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea– and that’s ok. Keep tapping into that well of creativity within you and let it spill out into the world.

#liveawakened #livefullyalive #bebrave #shareyourgift #blesstheworld

Brave enough to share

I truly believe that each of us was created with some spark of creative genius that’s just dying to come out and bless the world. Some invention that will make life easier. Some disease to cure. Some song to rivet the world. Some literary work that will awe its readers. Food that captivates. Movies that take us through the whole gambit of emotion.

Some people love languages, culture, and travel. Show us worlds we may never see with our own eyes.

Some people love gardening, landscaping, and horticulture. Bless the eyes of mankind with the beauty you can create with your hands and soil.

Some of you have the gift of healing. Bless those of us that are sick with health and wellness.

Some people love photography. Share your eye for angles and light. Help us to see the perfection in the moment like you do.

Some people love their country. Serve and protect with all that you have.

Some people love sewing. Light up the eyes of that beautiful bride or that teen going to prom with a dress of absolute perfection.

Some people love computers. Help companies and businesses thrive and expand.

Some people love justice and fairness for all. Fight for weak one. Speak out for freedom.

It’s our job to figure out what that thing is that makes us tick, that thrills our soul– to hone our skills and craft– and to be brave enough to share it with the world.

Do you know what your gift is?

Are you brave enough to share it with the world?

It’s time…

#liveawakened #livefullyalive #bebrave #shareyourgift #blessothers

Choose Life

I LOVE this passage in Deuteronomy 30:15-20!!!

Here’s the whole passage:

And another awesome follow-up passage: John 10:10

Our lives here on earth were meant to be filled with LIFE & abundance & prosperity & blessing & multiplication. And not just in our own lives… but Scripture says that when we choose life–> not only may we live BUT ALSO life may be passed down to our descendants as well (see Deut. 30:20)!!!
How awesome is that: generational BLESSINGS!!!

It’s always our choice… each day… each moment… what will we CHOOSE?:
-the words we speak to others
-the words we speak to ourselves (our inner dialogue)
-our actions & behavior
-our parenting style
-how we spend our time
-how we spend our money
-the food we ingest
-the content we consume media-wise
-what we post online
-what we daydream about
-our attitudes

Is what we’re saying, doing, & thinking giving LIFE?

Y’all, God loves us SO much and He SO wishes to bless us! I’m not preaching that if we ‘give our resources to religious causes God will bless us’. That’s called a “prosperity gospel”. But what I AM saying is that if we love the Lord and obey His voice and hold fast to Him: yes, blessings will come. Scripture says so! Whether or not we receive these life blessings could most def come down to what we CHOOSE day-in day-out.

I don’t know about you, but I want LIFE and life abundant… not just in Heaven some day… but here on earth, too!

So today, I CHOOSE life!!!

LIFE is beautiful!


#liveawakened #livefullyalive #chooselife #lifeisbeautiful

Deep Thoughts With Mel: Weight “Loss”

I don’t know about the rest of y’all… but when I hear the word “loss”, something kinda seizes up inside me. I get a feeling of yuck & angst.

The word “loss” to me always seems to mean something BAD:

*I “lost” my job.
*I “lost” a baby through miscarriage or stillbirth.
*I “lost” money in the stock market.
*I “lost” my kid at Walmart.
*I “lost” my wallet or cellphone.
*I just got dumped or my friend moved away… I “lost” that relationship.

Loss = bad.

Can you think of any time when “loss” is actually a good thing? Cuz I can’t seem to think of anything.

SO… why do we use the term “loss” when referring to our weight?

If the term “loss” has such a negative connotation to it, then why would it all of a sudden be considered a *positive* thing in reference to our weight?

I know we’re talking semantics here– but stay with me…

If “loss” is almost always considered a *bad thing*, and by that I mean:
-something to avoid
-something not enjoyable
-something not good
-something painful
-something that causes grief & trauma
-something dark & not happy/cheerful
-something that’s not safe

And if our brains are regularly programmed to see loss as bad…

Then seriously, WHY relate LOSS with our weight?!

It honestly doesn’t make sense.

Maybe when we say things like “I need to ‘lose’ weight” our brains start firing (possibly totally unconsciously) with “no no no, that’s bad & not safe & possibly a painful thing & I am not going there!”?

What if what we call “semantics” is actually the very thing that keeps us from dropping in pounds/keeps us overweight?
What if the thought of “loss” is the very thing that’s causing our bodies to literally cling to the extra weight because that feels safe and loss is unsafe?

Maybe we should instead change our wording to something more choice-based and safe?

What if we said INSTEAD something like:
*I need to “let go” of this excess weight…
*I need to “release” this extra weight…
*This extra weight on my body is no longer serving me– I’m “allowing” it to go…

I’m serious, our brains are crazy amazing things. And words SO matter!!!

Talking like this to ourselves (and/or others) is basically saying that I’m “choosing” to let go… it’s “safe” to let go… I “want” to let go… it’s “ok” to say goodbye to the extra weight…

*Maybe our minds (& bodies) will finally begin to drop in pounds because it’s now a safe and happy thing to do.
*Maybe our minds (& bodies) can relax and finally let go.

What do you think?
Would a change of perspective and wording make the difference?
Does anyone have experience in success with re-wording their health journey?

Live awakened. Live fully alive.

Deep Thoughts With Mel: Yelling Parents

From my experience, usually by the time a parent is screaming it’s because they’ve threatened and repeated so much that they’ve finally “had enough”. They can’t handle the disobedience any longer and so they blow their tops. Where that “too much” line is can change from day to day.

But there are other reasons for yelling, too:
-I’m distracted with XYZ and I don’t have the brain-space (or time) to deal with bad kid behavior right now.
-I’ve got some sort of inner turmoil (unrelated to the kids) that’s brewing inside and bad kid behavior (even minor) throws me over the edge.
-My mom/dad yelled so that’s just how I parent.
-I feel so alone in my parenting (lack of support)– I’m so frustrated, tired, and worn– I don’t have the energy to deal with yet another bad kid behavior situation.
-My yelling seems to be the only thing that gets them to jump and move so it’s just what I use because it works.
-Yelling just feels like a quick & easy option.

Whatever the reason(s) for the yelling, what I’ve observed is: it’s setting an unrealistic example to the child on how to properly respond to all forms of authority… and to God.

Most adults and those in authority *don’t* yell to get obedience. And if they do, that’s a flaming red flag that there’s dysfunction and that we may need to withdraw from that person or organization. It’s unhealthy. It’s an abuse of power that needs to be addressed.

Typically the way it works is: someone in authority makes a request. You can choose comply and there’s generally a good consequence. You can choose not to comply, and there’s generally a negative consequence (often done swiftly). It’s taken care of calmly, matter-of-factly. It is what it is.

You didn’t do _______ so ________ happens.”

No screaming or yelling.

In fact, in all my adult-ing years I can’t remember a single person in authority ever YELLING at me or anyone else to get obedience and compliance from another.

You don’t show up for your shift… you get reprimanded.
You don’t show up for another shift… you get fired.
No yelling necessary.
It’s not rocket science– it’s just a natural consequence for poor behavior.

But here’s the thing… the boss was serious the first time. Not the second time, or a third time, or when he’s good and mad and yelling. If a boss *does* threaten and repeat and yell to get his way, that’s poor leadership and the staff needs to address the issue or hightail it outta there! That’s poor business practice.

Normal people in normal positions of authority don’t normally yell.

So why do we yell at our kids?

Listen– I am NOT trying to lay on the guilt. And I’m certainly not exempt. I’m not a perfect parent that’s perfectly calm and kind and who never yells. No one is!

But just consider this with me: really, why do we yell?

Yelling is not the standard process in the real world– the one in which our kids will be entering at age 18.

And what about God? Does *God* yell at us to get obedience? Scripture says He speaks to us in a “still small voice” (1 Kings 19:12). I’ve never heard Him yell at me. He won’t yell at my kids (or yours) either.

Here’s a fantastic article on this: https://www.gotquestions.org/still-small-voice.html

So I guess I say all this because it’s been really affecting the way I parent as of late. It’s turning into a game changer for me– and I wanted to share my thoughts on yelling in hopes that maybe it will help other parents out there, too (and reinforce the concept in my own life).

If our children are expecting the future authority figures in their lives to threaten & repeat and/or yell at them to move… they’re in for a rude awakening. It may be super hard for them to hold down a job. As a yelling parent, I am not properly preparing them for adulthood and the work force.

And as a yelling parent, I’m not properly guiding them in their adult walk with God either. They instead need to quiet their hearts and minds, listen for, and slow down to hear God. If they wait for God to yell, in a much worse way than the job force situation above, they are in for an even ruder awakening. They may very well miss what God put them on this earth to do. They may even throw in the Christianity towel so to speak because they “never hear from Him– maybe He just doesn’t care… maybe He’s not even real”.

So rather than mustering up the energy to clean up my speech in my own strength (which has never worked in the past), I’ve instead been convicted in the heart about how I am preparing them for a fruitful adult life in the workforce and a fruitful walk with God. Somehow, in this paradigm shift to “future focus”, I’m much more able in the here-and-now to be patient and calm and matter-of-fact in my parenting.

I expect ________.
If you don’t do _______ then ________ is your consequence.

No yelling. No heated debate. No arguing.

Just plain natural consequences.

If we can learn to lead from natural consequences, then when our kids leave our homes and our authority: they’ll be ready… they’ll be prepared… they’ll have been trained to listen (the first time).

When I stick to natural consequences: it works! And I’m finding it actually requires a *quarter* of the energy that yelling does! The hardest energy requirement is having to stop & use my brain to look for the suitable consequence (which can take a bit of ingenuity).

I am SUCH a work in progress, y’all. I’ve got a long way to go. But I’m not a failure– just in training. And I’m SO glad that I have been made aware. That’s really what I’m wanting for all of us– to become aware, like *really aware* of how we are preparing our children for their future.

We need to pray for God’s help and creativity in parenting.
We need to be clear to our children on what our expectations are.
We need to begin allowing natural consequences for their disobedience to occur.
We need to stick to our guns and trust the process.

But awareness is always the first step.

Live awakened. Live fully alive.

Spring Blessings

1) I have taken a big step of maturity these past couple of weeks– I finally reached out and asked for help regarding my anxiety/panic issues— and I’ve started seeing a therapist. Regardless of the fact that I myself graduated from college with a BS is Psychology and Addictions Counseling… it’s nearly impossible to diagnose and treat oneself– as I am “too close to the patient”. I have fussed with it now for six years. And though I have made some headway, it’s still there.

There’s just seems to be such a cultural stigma with mental health issues. It’s like people think you’re weak or something. It seems especially difficult if you’re a Christian: maybe you just don’t know/love/*trust* Jesus enough. That’s not helpful at all.

I’ve been to my therapist three times now and… it has just been an incredible experience. He listens and asks just the right questions. He points things out I’ve never noticed. He’s been able to put into words the chaotic feelings I’ve not been able to make sense of. His perspective is unique. He’s shared breathing exercises that I can do (even in front of people & they’d never know) to bring calm to my nervous system. He’s challenged me. He’s given me big things to ponder & wrestle with.

WHY ON EARTH DID I WAIT SO LONG TO GET HELP?!

I am NOT weak. In fact, it’s actually a pretty bold and powerful thing to actually admit you’re not Wonder Woman (or Superman) and to get help/perspective.

By no means have I got it all figured out yet– and I’ll prob be seeing him for awhile– but I can actually rest and relax now knowing that I’m not crazy or weak or forever stuck with anxiety. He’s pretty certain we can nip it in the bud. Praise God. Very much filled with hope right now.

If ANY of you are wrestling with anxiety or depression or whatever, please do NOT hesitate to talk to a therapist!!! You are not weak!!! You’re actually a super strong person to reach out and ask for help!!! I’m telling you, it will make a world of difference in your life!!!

2) I have decided to include along with my mental health therapy: running. Today, with three of my children, we laced up and hit the pavement. Dude, we are SO out of shape. (LOL) What a laugh we all had when the torture was over. But guess what, we’re still alive and we’re gonna do it all again tomorrow… for both our physical and *mental* health. It was slow-going but we put in 2 run-walk miles:

3) I am SUPER duper thankful for the ability to homeschool. I truly freakin’ love teaching my kids and providing learning environments for them. My older kids are mostly self-learners at this point and so the majority of my time is spent teaching my Little Ones. It’s just something I thoroughly enjoy doing. LOVE being with them and sharing life with them.

4) I was joking around today with someone about what our “spirit animals” would be. Now, I don’t really believe in spirit animals– it was just a silly convo we were having. But if spirit animals were a real thing, I would totally choose Pikachu. Such a cute little fun creature, seemingly harmless… but don’t ever cross him. (LOL) I am wearing this t-shirt today & it makes me so happy:

5) It is in the high 60F’s today!!! I AM LOVING IT!!! I LOVE having the windows open, feeling the breeze, smelling the outdoors, hearing the birds sing… I can’t explain it– but it makes my heart sing.

6) Loving/awesome neighbors that bring treats for my fam… just because. I could not have asked for more kind/better neighbors.

Enjoying Spring Break

1) After lunch, I took my little ones out on a long walk. Together we spotted the new growth & blooms all around– it’s like looking for nature’s treasures. They’d already played outdoors for at least an hour earlier… but they just can’t seem to get enough of the warmer temps, sunshine, and beauty all around. Honestly, I’m right there with them. Spring is very much to me a sort of “waking up” from Winter’s sleep and quiet. Warmer months make the kids and I feel so alive and happy and free. Here are a few of the “pretties” the kids spotted today:

2) I’ve decided to sort of change-up my parenting a bit to make it a little more positive. Mostly in the way in which I speak to my children. I’m forever telling my children (& hubby *wink*) that it’s not what you say, but how you say it. I hear what my loved ones say to one another… and though there is truth to the words in which they speak, it often sounds so doggone harsh! Biting! I try to walk my kids through speaking more properly and kindly, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. And then I noticed something… *I* speak harshly, too! *I* speak words of truth, but the WAY it is spoken often seems to have such a negative flare to it. 😦

So I’ve begun to make some changes in the way I speak to my kids:

Ex: honey, please don’t do that. You’re going to break it. Why not instead try rephrasing that with a little less negativity? Rephrase: honey, let’s respect property and treat it nicely. I basically said the exact same thing, but with less bite.

Ex: stop doing that! It’s annoying me! Rephrase: hun, let’s find something better to do with all that energy you got. How about _____ instead?

Ex: pick this stuff up! Stop leaving it in the stairwell. Rephrase: sweetheart, let’s take care of this before it gets stepped on.

It’s actually been making a HUGE difference in the atmosphere of the home. It’s been a whole lot quieter– I’ve had a lot more willingness from the kids to help around the house– the kids have been more loving and affectionate toward me– & they’ve even begun correcting their own speech toward each other. It’s hilarious listening to them say “let me rephrase that” and then trying to speak again more lovingly to their sibling.

I had no idea how negative/harsh my words and tone were!!!
Oh, that I will keep this up!!!
Cuz it’s working!!!

Momma’s, we have so much power & influence. Never for a second think what you’re doing is pointless or mundane or not making an influence in this world.

3) So I’ve decided to go back to using homemade wet wipes. I’ve used them on & off for years but haven’t done it in a while. Well, I’m back in the mood for the time being. 🙂

Came across these recipes: https://allaboutclothdiapers.com/my-three-favorite-homemade-wipes-solution-recipes/

I tried my hand at recipe #3: Lavender and Tea Tree Oil Wipes Solution. Instead of using paper towel, I cut up a piece of fleece into wipes-sized squares and put them in a 1 gallon ice cream tub. For all my wipes made, I ended up tripling the recipe. We’ll see how they do!

This is one batch of the solution.

4) I just LOVE making homemade bone broth!!! We use it for all sorts of recipes! It’s especially awesome to have some on-hand for when sickness strikes at home. Nothing like a bowl of broth with noodles to ease upset tummies or stuffed up sinuses. It’s like magic healing elixir. Plus, it’s made with love and I *swear* that love can be detected in my broth. 🙂

I keep all types of bone & veggies scraps from when I cook– saving them in the freezer. When my bags filled up, I would dump it all in a huge stock pot, add several cloves of garlic, add water close to the top– and then cook it down for several hours on the stove top. Strain & freeze. But now that I have an Instant Pot (8 qt), I can make a broth in 30 min (+ heat up/natural release/forced release time)– so maybe I’m not saving a whole lot of time IP-ing it. LOL

Man, it’s good!